While I'm on the subject...
Speaking of suffering...................let's think about...............church......
I have, with rare exception (and Sean if your still reading here; "The Brook Church" was an exception) had a terrible experience with church. It remains the most frustrating, lonely, confusing hour of my week. Maybe I should stick that up my theology of suffering, huh! Maybe; however, why is this? I've felt this way all my life! Even as a non Christian teenager being forced to church by my well intentioned parents. And still now, as a professing believer for the last 25 yrs.
I've been told it's my own fault. I don't love people enough, or I don't try hard enough to get involved. I've tried to get involved many times and it just leads to greater loneliness and frustration. I've prayed. I've reached out to those who seem to be in the same boat as myself...
Frankly, I have given up. I would stop church all together, except doing so feels as if I am leaving God Himself. Where two or more are gathered, right? I've thought, maybe I'm not really a Christian. That's possible I suppose. Only God knows. The only way I'll know that for sure is when I die, which is not a comforting thought, incidentally. I've read 1st John many times, which is written so we can be "certain" we are "in Christ" and I come way with even more questions.
Lastly, it's possible my experience is not so uncommon. In that case it falls under the "fallen world" ideas I mentioned yesterday. So, what is the answer? How about none of the above.
I have, with rare exception (and Sean if your still reading here; "The Brook Church" was an exception) had a terrible experience with church. It remains the most frustrating, lonely, confusing hour of my week. Maybe I should stick that up my theology of suffering, huh! Maybe; however, why is this? I've felt this way all my life! Even as a non Christian teenager being forced to church by my well intentioned parents. And still now, as a professing believer for the last 25 yrs.
I've been told it's my own fault. I don't love people enough, or I don't try hard enough to get involved. I've tried to get involved many times and it just leads to greater loneliness and frustration. I've prayed. I've reached out to those who seem to be in the same boat as myself...
Frankly, I have given up. I would stop church all together, except doing so feels as if I am leaving God Himself. Where two or more are gathered, right? I've thought, maybe I'm not really a Christian. That's possible I suppose. Only God knows. The only way I'll know that for sure is when I die, which is not a comforting thought, incidentally. I've read 1st John many times, which is written so we can be "certain" we are "in Christ" and I come way with even more questions.
Lastly, it's possible my experience is not so uncommon. In that case it falls under the "fallen world" ideas I mentioned yesterday. So, what is the answer? How about none of the above.
Labels: church
posted by Jim at 3:01 PM
5 Comments:
thanks, dude.
yep, church is often pretty bad. we're in the process of changing to a less bad one right now ;-)
(Because of a glitch, there exists a possibility this comment posted twice....)
I used to think going to church was to receive spiritual growth, wisdom, encouragement, etc. Now I believe the only true reason is to worship God on His day. That's it.
You sound overwhelmed. Ask God to clear your head and heart of all the extraneous stuff that jumbles your mind and prevents you from the fulfilling experience of praising Him.
Remember, God NEVER puts out the tiniest flame.
Brook Church was perfect for us. Jim, we should start looking for one that size with phenomenal music and biblical, thought-provoking preaching. Church on the Go is too massive. I sit in the balcony on the end of the aisle so I can bolt outside afterward. How's that for participation? ~8^0
Hey Sean. Great to "see" you. How are those cute look-alikes? How old are they?
Julie, do you read Sean's Blog?
It's a good one.
I haven't yet, but will. It better be a good one since you built it up so much.
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