The hard part....more about forgiveness.
The hardest thing to me in following Christ is forgiveness. Contempt, the opposite of forgiveness, sneaks up on me. Sometimes it's from events long ago, and I have to revisit them and extend mercy to those I felt did me wrong. The first time I heard about forgiving parents was from a preacher/teacher. (Gary Delashmutt) During a teaching, he said, "if you refuse to forgive your parents you will never be truly free". There is a girl in my neighborhood who was sexually abused by her own father. She is bitter and her personal life is a mess. But when I talk to her I see this same need. She needs to forgive her father. That will be the hardest thing she ever does, and it will release her from her demons...truly.
That reminds me of another aspect of this. Forgiveness does not mean you are saying something is OK. Child abuse is not OK. This guy still needs to go to prison, and should not be around this girl, maybe ever.
Forgiveness means we are personally letting the violator off. We personally write off the debt. This is an important subject for me. I see it as key to a great deal. I pray the Lords prayer everyday. I paraphrase it so it won't get dry. It is a brilliant prayer model. In it..."forgive me for my sins, and I forgive those who have sinned against me...and I provide detail. It is the hardest thing.
(Leave a comment...do you agree, or disagree?)
That reminds me of another aspect of this. Forgiveness does not mean you are saying something is OK. Child abuse is not OK. This guy still needs to go to prison, and should not be around this girl, maybe ever.
Forgiveness means we are personally letting the violator off. We personally write off the debt. This is an important subject for me. I see it as key to a great deal. I pray the Lords prayer everyday. I paraphrase it so it won't get dry. It is a brilliant prayer model. In it..."forgive me for my sins, and I forgive those who have sinned against me...and I provide detail. It is the hardest thing.
(Leave a comment...do you agree, or disagree?)
posted by Jim at 12:33 PM
2 Comments:
agree. of course.
forgiving my parents for the ways they failed me has become easier with age. eg, i realize my children, though i sometimes sin against them, owe me debts they can never repay. that's the nature of the relationship. it is, very reductionistically, parasitic.
a wise man once told me 'Being a dad means you never get to have your own stuff. You're always sharing with someone.' (that was you, at St Louis Bread on Lewis ;-)
we think with unforgiveness that we are somehow holding the offender accountable. but, almost always, we're only hurting ourselves and not hurting them at all.
Very good thoughts Jim. I see you have been reading Dallas Willard, and you can not do better than that. Yes, contempt is a very hard sin to overcome, and requires foregiveness. C.S. Lewis identified pride as being the fundamental sin, as I recall. Maybe he is correct, with pride we see ourselves as better, as the winner in competition, and from that we can hold others in contempt for what they do, or who they are. Sometimes the contempt is well founded, yet must evenso be released. --- Dad
Post a Comment
<< Home